There are many things that are learned in life. Sharing is what I like doing. These happen to be a few lessons I’ve learned in my life. 19 lessons in 19 years.
- My family is important and should be first: I had a roommate who called her mom every twenty seconds. Every time we went out on a very exciting journey before we jumped into our room she would be on the phone, talking all hour-long to her family. Telling them all about her day. Sometimes I found it trying, but beyond, it made me make a decision to put a higher value on my family. After all, that I came so far in life was because someone in my family supported me and encouraged me and gave me all the resources I ever needed and prayed for me.
- Everything you want is on the other side of fear. Just go for it: What’s that they say about fear again? False Evidence Appearing Real, right? I can count how many times I wanted to say hi to someone, but then my liver fell out of my body because I was scared. Just talk to people. If they respond back, your luck and if they don’t, their loss. Same thing, do the things you want to do. If they succeed, okay, if they fail, beautiful! Try again.
- 19 will hit you so hard. You better plan! Well in your case, 25. Or maybe 30. I don’t know how and when I turned 19. I never planned for what I’d do at the end of my teenage years (I lied. I plan a lot). Sometimes not all plans go as planned. I most certainly planned to be a millionaire by 19 (I’m sure). Oh well, no need to fret, money is not so important and must never be the end goal. (I partially lied again).
- Many things you should know, shouldn’t know, would never know are all hidden in black and white: In 2014 I must have read close to or over 40 books. They informed me about so many things. Spiritual, religious, leadership, fiction, motivational, you name it. If you’re one of those people who no longer buy inspirationals because you feel you know all they want to say. Well, congratulations! Either truly, you need to graduate to higher knowledge or two, you’re just too lazy and proud. Really, is knowledge every truly enough?
- Journaling your life will make you look back and either smile or cry or work harder: Today, I look back at the things I wrote when I was 12, 15, 16, 18, and smile. Reading how I felt about certain events and how I envisioned my future, makes me appreciate how much I have grown in the last few years. I read the things I wrote and either say “awwnn.. I’m glad you got over this” or “Wow! You were so good, why didn’t you believe in yourself baby?”
- Write your goals and visions as clearly as possible. Avoid vague dreams. Be specific: At age 6 I knew I never wanted to be a doctor. In high school, I wrote that I wanted to work in a radio station. I didn’t say when I wanted to work there, why I wanted to work there, what radio station I wanted to work in or how much I wanted to get paid. Years later, I redesigned that goal and wrote down every detail. Write out your visions, make them plain. You’re the only one reading that paper or watching that screen, Just write it.
- Mentors are important because you can stand on their shoulders and see farther than what they could see when they were still at your stage: There is someone now in my life, that I secretly admired and followed since I was maybe 16 years old. I structured out plans to get close to her, I sent her text messages out of the blues, I watched her videos and liked her updates online. Why? Because her life was inspiring, and I wanted to stand on her shoulders to see what would take me many more years of consuming protein (hard work) before I could eventually see it.
- God is real: Seriously. I still can’t fathom the feeling that comes with worshipping God. Having a higher being in your life is of essence. It gives you something to look up to and a sense of hope.
- Your friends will either make or mar you, so find great friends if you want to tread on the path of greatness: My friends have LITERALLY influenced my life! Even for the worst! I take great caution with whom I befriend. You’ve got negative vibes? Fly away peter. You’re inspiring and make me bring out my best self? Come back Paul.
- Nobody cares about you: Noo! Of course, there are people that really care about you, but most are too busy finding solutions to their own woes too. This brings me back to my number 1 thing. Family first. From my observation, the people who are most likely to run to your aid when you need help most are your family members. (If you have a good family). So treat them well because most times, the rest of the world doesn’t care about you (especially when times are rough).
- Appreciate your talents and gifts. Don’t you ever be shy about that: It took me over 5 amazing years to fully realize and accept that I have such a beautiful voice, my guitar skills are above average and I’m such a Bawse! (I just read the book, How to be a Bawse by Lily Singh). I have always been extremely shy about my musical genius. Why did it take me so much time to find confidence in myself? So I encourage you today, find your confidence. Love your gift.
- Be kind to people: A young lady gave me money in 2015 to make my hair. Benedette, I shall never forget her. Her hugs were so tight and warm. Her smile would wipe away my sadness. She was the kindest soul and did the kindest things for me and others. While others complained to me that I needed to make my hair because it didn’t look awesome. Benedette showed me love in action. She gave me some money to make my hair. She was kindness personified.
- Kind words cost nothing. Give nice compliments when you can and if you have something bad to say, keep it to yourself: One of my course mates once said this about me…“Mirabelle, that boring soul.” Do you want to know how I felt? Yes! Terrible. Oh my God I have a boring soul. Of course her words bored a deep hole into my soul! That was such an unkind thing to say. Because our priorities were different, because I didn’t like the things she liked, my soul was boring. My beautiful, kind, irrepressibly divergent and talented soul was boring to her. Say nice words to people. It costs nothing.
- How you dress is how people will treat and respect you: I no longer wear fancy slippers or sandals to the bank. I wear shoes.
- Always leave your phone lines switched on and always pick your calls. You never know when the U.S Embassy or Aliko Dangote would put a call across to you: It happened to me. Terrible experience. Always leave your phone lines open. Opportunities don’t always knock three times, talk less of twice. P.S. Download Truecaller if you don’t like picking unknown numbers.
- You should learn how to say NO because it is a very useful talent: There are so many great but irrelevant opportunities out there. Some are so great but they’re so distracting and will take you off the important things you should be doing. Learning how to politely say no, is so beautiful. Because you need to FOCUS!
- Traveling and mixing with different cultures could humble you: You think you know everything, you think you’re tolerant enough. Traveling, having deep heart to heart, open minded conversations would broaden your understanding of events and people. You necessarily don’t have to change, but then, you learn. The more you learn, the more you grow, the more you grow, the better you become.
- Say your mind. Speak up. Speak out: It’s never easy. But you have to.
- Be unapologetically yourself: You don’t have to follow your friends to do what doesn’t make you comfortable. Don’t apologize to people for being bold and non-conforming. Don’t say sorry for being too spiritual. Don’t wish you were as quiet as someone else so you could be the perfect daughter. Everyday, strive to be a better version of yourself. Strive to do the things you love and want to do. When you celebrate your birthday, celebrate because you have grown. Be unapologetically yourself.
- (BONUS) promote what you love, don’t bash what you hate.